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[13 Jul 2009|12:28am] |
So, I spent the better part of my evening installing a new stereo in my car. seeing as i only paid $400 (and a case of beer) for the car itself, it's officially the most expensive part of the car. I've never done it before so i was just sort of winging it.
So where do we stand on the checklist of shit to get done before i can take it to bismarck?
- Fix the stereo so i have something to listen to while driving it on the interstate
- New tires
- oil change
- get the radiator checked (don't want to overheat in the middle of nowhere).
- replace starter (eventually. it's just squealy when it starts.)
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| The Goods |
[08 Jul 2009|07:09pm] |
I love Jeremy Piven. he's just so goddamn funny, and this movie looks fucking AMAZING!! ^_^
I find the timing on this one interesting, as i JUST bought a new car last night! (details and pics coming soon)
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| hers is the only good version of this song. |
[06 Jul 2009|11:33pm] |
if you guys haven't seen this yet, first off where the fuck have you been? second, you should watch it because it's pretty goddamn funny. Alanis did a cover of The Black Eyed Peas "My Humps". it's the best (only?) piano hip-hop cover since Ben Folds covered Bitches Ain't Shit. anyway, it's great because she shows a real humorous side we haven't seen of her in a LONG time, and it actually makes that god-forsaken song BEARABLE!! After they showed it on Conan tonight, i realized i never did get around to posting it the first time.
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| Billy Mays Marathon Tonight!! |
[01 Jul 2009|05:31pm] |
hey guys i thought you might be interested.
Discovery Channel is having a Pitchmen Marathon all day long leading up to the season - and i suppose series - finale tonight @ 10pm (9pm central).
x-posted to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) randompictures.
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[30 Jun 2009|03:07am] |
so i got my tax return today, which means on my day off tomorrow, i get to go car shopping!!
i'll throw like $600 down on a $1000-2000 used beast and stomach the high interest on the rest. all i care about is if it will get me to and from as far as Bismarck and possibly Minneapolis. though if i'm going to be traveling more often than before i should TRY and find one with at least DECENT gas mileage. i'll spend a couple hundred more if it means decent mileage/fewer repairs down the road.
also, things are looking pretty decent regarding the promotion to full time. I think there was only one other person who put in for it, and if it's who i'm thinking it is, we have a pretty equal shot at it. he's got the seniority at best buy but i've got the experience and i know the department a lot better than he does.
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| NO NOT BILLY!!! |
[28 Jun 2009|12:16pm] |
 HOLY FUCK!! Now Billy Mays is dead too!! no cause of death announced but they're saying it's probably a heart attack. figures, just when i'm starting to get into that show Pitchmen.
so what's the tally now?
1. David Carradine
2. Ed McMahon
3. Farrah Fawcett
4. Michael Jackson
5. Billy Mays
if they come in threes, we'd better get ready for one more. possibly 4 more with the way celebrities are dropping like flies this month!
Rest In Peace Billy. He's OxiCleaning stains from angles' robes now... :(
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| Adding to the pile |
[25 Jun 2009|07:17pm] |
HOLY SHIT!
my entire first page on my Flist is nothing but posts about Michael Jackson dying. yes, in case i'm like your only friend and you haven't heard, Michael Jackson is DEAD.
i always liked his music, and i wish i could dance like him. and that's all i'm going to say on that subject. i mean, what can i say that hasn't already been said by EVERYBODY ELSE ON ELJAY!?
----------------------------------------------
so, moving on (because *teardrop*, as hard as it is we all must)...
I really don't like my new job (Lonestar Steak House). they're so overly-corporate, and the problem is THEY WANT TO BE! they make their employees jump through 50 fucking hoops. but here's the thing, for being so corporate they are easily one of the most DISORGANIZED companies i have ever worked for. heaven forbid, they post a schedule more than a week in advance, or ever know when the fuck you're supposed come in to train. I had to waste a TON of minutes on my phone (i'm on pre-pay) just trying to get a hold of a manger to tell if i even had the fucking job there in the first place!
oh but here's the kicker! EVERY SINGLE DAY of my training i have to take a test of material from a booklet they gave me the day before. I'm supposed to fucking STUDY the menu and my handbook and all this other shit every day AT HOME! here's the thing, if it's required, then BY LAW they have to pay me (they claim otherwise). not only do i not have time in the FIRST place, but i'm not going to fucking do work at home if i'm not getting paid for my time.
so today i got sent home because i failed my fucking test by forgetting two of the options for meat on a salad and like four out of 13 of the options for side-dishes.
i'm not too broken up about it though. you think i give a fuck if i get fired from a job i don't even like? not. at. all.
besides, Best Buy just posted a JOS notice for a FULL-TIME POSITION IN MY DEPARTMENT! if i can land this, i can just QUIT my 2nd job! 36-40hrs/week PLUS a raise, PLUS BENEFITS?! YES PLEASE!! ^_^
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| well now that THAT'S finally done... :P |
[06 Jun 2009|01:43am] |
So I finally just did my taxes.
yeah i know, they were due on April 15th, but whatever. Here's the deal, first, two of my three w-2's were late and i didn't get them until like April 14th. second, I never got a booklet, because not having a car all the places that have the booklets are so far out of the way, and i have tried to E-File before (last year) and was so damned confused i find it's just easier to do a paper copy. so i was going to go get a booklet and forms, but it became one of those things where when you think of it you don't have time and when you have time it doesn't even cross your mind. (this is mostly true, but we all know the the real reason is, i'm lazy and forgetful when it comes to shit like this). i don't know why it didn't dawn on me until the other day that the forms are probably downloadable on the internet. they were, and what's more, in a fill-in-the-blanks form PDF file! YAY!
so anyway, here's the fun part. i not only got to spend my evening doing my taxes for this year, i got to completely re-do LAST year's taxes as well! why? because last year when i sent in my state taxes i got them back a couple weeks later saing "hey, you forgot to include a copy of your federal taxes in here" and i went OHHHH SHIT! because i had only filled out one copy for Federal so i didn't have another copy or new forms/instruction booklet. i actually did make it out to the library to pick up more but they were completely out. so then it got lost in a stack of paperwork and completely forgotten about. until today when i realized i should really re-do those. luckily i found last year's stuff right next to this year's stuff online so i got those done too.
all told between the three i sent in, i'll be getting back just shy of $800!! i plan on dropping $500 or $600 on a down-payment for a car. nothing spectacular. i'm talking like a $1000 or $2000 used car that will just get me back and forth between here and Grand Forks, Bismark and possibly Minneapolis. i figure if i lay down at least a quarter of it and knock down the principal a little the financing for people with shitty credit won't rape me QUITE as hard on the high as fuck interest.
i want to keep like $200 to go towards a new camera, though, since mine is getting pretty old. there's nothing wrong with it, it's just sad that i don't use it nearly as often as i'd like, because every time i pick it up my subconscious reminds me of everything the new ones can do.
i want THIS ONE:
(Pic is a link to Canon's info page for it)
remember that one i posted about a while back? Well this is its big brother! It has the same 12MP resolution, the DIGIC4 photo processor which makes it super-fast and AWESOME in low-light conditions, the post-editing options built right in to the camera (red-eye fix, B&W/sepia, crop, & resize which allow you to edit the photo AFTER it's been taken), Color Accent/Color Swap (soooo much fun), and the same 720p HD video (fuck yes please!). but this one takes it a step further! this one has full manual controls (P, A, S, & M), a 3" LCD Screen, 12x optical zoom (yes fucking TWELVE!), a 28mm wide-angle lens, and some of the best macro capabilities of any compact camera i've ever seen (we're talking lens almost touching the subject and still in focus)! and unlike its predecessors (the SX100 & SX110) this one is much more compact and FINALLY uses a rechargeable Li-Ion Battery!!
*ahem* sorry, i just kinda photo-nerded out for a minute. the moral is this camera is FUCKING SWEET! sells for $350 but through Canon accommodations for working at Best Buy i can order it for $250!! :D
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| excuse me while i fanboy out for a moment... |
[11 May 2009|01:45am] |
OK, so many of you know that my favorite band of all time is Our Lady Peace. what some of you might not know is that their new CD is coming out this summer and is going to be awesome because this is the first time they have done the album entirely on their own. usually there is a producer there fucking shit up (i still fucking hate you Bob Rock) but this time they produced it themselves in their own studio. it's entirely THEIR album reflecting the sound THEY want to have (more like their very first ablum, Naveed).
so i found on Amazon that a real release date has finally been set, the full track list has been posted, and it looks like the cover art has changed a little.
JULY 21!!! WOOT!!!
Track List:
1. All You Did Was Save My Life
2. Dreamland
3. Monkey Brains
4. Never Get Over You
5. Escape Artist
6. Refuge
7. Right Stuff
8. Paper Moon
9. Signs Of Life
10. White Flags
X-Posted to our_lady_peace
This... is going to be AWESOME!! ^_^
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| YAY! I ♥ YOU BOXY!! |
[30 Apr 2009|08:59pm] |
My Xbox came home today!! HOORAY!! ^_^
actually it's a whole new one. they just pulled an Arcade version off the line and sent me that. i kinda figured that's what would happen when i got an email notification that they received my broken one, and the next day there was already a new notification that "repairs had been completed".
EDIT: also, i'm totally baking chocolate chip cookies right now! YUM!
EDIT #2: oh man, these cookies turned out friggin' PERFECT!!
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| Henry Rollins is Mad. (but what else is new?) |
[28 Apr 2009|07:08pm] |
So many of you know i'm a BIG Batman fan, but only some of you know how deep my love of Henry Rollins goes. the man is a frigging genius with a touch of psycho, and his rants are epic. anyway, i was watching my Batman Beyond Season 2 DVD and i came across the episode "Rats!" in it Terry (Batman) blows off a date with his g/f Dana to go fight this mad bomber named Mad Stan (while doing so she gets kidnapped by this RatBoy and blahblahblah lead in to real plot). Now i'm good at recognizing voices, hell in the first 2 minutes of re-watching the series i went, "Huh, i never knew the dude who did the voice for Terry was the same guy who later did the voice for Ron Stoppable on Kim Possible!" But, i digress, so i'm watching batman fight this dude and after a couple lines are exchanged i go "Hmmm, that voice is familiar..." a few more lines one of which includes something about society degrading and i go, "OMG! IT COULDN'T BE!!" a couple more lines and then Mad Stan goes off on a rant about emails and text messages, and i shit a brick and stood up and yelled! "HOLY SHIT IT'S HENRY ROLLINS!!" seriously, it's amazing how perfectly cast he is. it's like the role was created just for him!! it's as though Bruce Timm said, "let's see we're going to have an this big crazy dude who wants to blow everything up rant about what's wrong with society. no draw him more like Henry Rollins... yeah add a neck tattoo, no not the Black Flag logo, we don't want to be TOO obvious!"
EDIT: OK, so Terry was just studying his presidents trying to recite them in order and he got stuck on Clinton. his study partner Max goes, "C'mon Clinton was the fun one then came the boring one..." SEE BUSH!? not only did you drive our nation into a horrible recession, but you fucked us out of an AWESOME future! a future filled with flying cars, laser pistols, and bionic suits that enhance your strength and agility!! in their world Gore (the boring one) won the election (then again, he did in our world too, he just never became president). now we'll never drive flying cars within my lifetime, and it's all your fault!
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| seriously... don't drink the water. |
[27 Apr 2009|10:01pm] |
watching the news and they're talking about swine flu, because, well, who the fuck ISN'T?! frankly i'm sick of hearing about it, but whatever.
anyway they said that the CDC is "Urging Americans to not travel to Mexico unless absolutely necessary."
really? i mean c'mon, that's just good advice for life in general. what's next, "if you DO go don't drink the water"? i mean is this shit really news?
EDIT: Also, there is a new Raisin Bran Crunch called Raisin Bran Crunch EXTRA (it just has dried cranberries added in). anyway their slogan is "It's a mouth full of AWESOME!" i'm thinking of suing for plagiarism, because i've been using that slogan for YEARS to advertise my service where I allow women pleasure me orally for a surprisingly reasonable fee.
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| Writer's Block: Celebrating Friendships |
[25 Apr 2009|03:54pm] |
i don't normally do these but this one didn't suck so i figured why the hell not?
My oldest and closest ElJay friend by far is most definitely ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) suicidalgrace as she was the one who told me to get an ElJay in the first place! we had an IRL relationship for quite a while, and even after that ended we were best friends and roommates for almost a year!
after that is probably spiffyfunpants who i met in the Our Lady Peace community, (the very first community i joined on ElJay!) because she has AWESOME taste in music, and is just an all-around awesome person in general!
musicksempirewhom i met in an alley behind Billiards here in Fargo after a local show. she is also my co-mod for the north_dakota community!
brokenangelredi think i met in adultswimfans, but he's got some good taste in music and is WAY more talented an artist than i could EVER be! :P
then, i met a bunch of you awesome people in qc_comic including but not limited to: jman4442002, the_terrible, and b3auty_qu33n. you guys have been some of my best pals on ElJay so far! b3auty_qu33n you and i modded webcest together, and even though it didn't last very long, it was super-fun modding it with you! jman4442002 we still need to be on Live at the same time more often so we can do some gaming together, man! the_terrible, you're one of my closest friends on ElJay! who else can share both my love of classic rock and taste in comics, as well as my problems with women!? (your comics are awesome, BTW!) :P
i suppose from here it's you more recent friends who are already super-awesome close friends!! (the honorable mentions, so to speak)
jinxeh13 who i met in randompictures is wild, and crazy, and i can chat with her back and forth for hours till our comments are all the way to the right side of the page and only one word per line! ^_^
less_than_182i met in futurama back when she was still ps_shocktheworl. she's got good taste in pop-punk... most of the time, is a hockey fan (w00t!), and has totally rad pink hair (most of the time)!! (she and i can also have those long back-and-forth comment-chats) :P
maladroital, i'm not even sure where we met, but we've been on each others' flists for a while now, and we never really started commenting on each others' posts until recently, which is weird, but i'm glad we're pals! ^_^
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| Quietdrive live @ The BBY. |
[24 Apr 2009|10:46pm] |
so i had seen these guys Quietdrive live before locally (they are from Minneapolis) but didn't remember much about them. so they were in the store today signing autographs and playing a short set. i didn't get to see most of it because i was still on the clock, but they sounded great! i figured though, that i could sneak over there for a bit if i were doing something work-related, and i had wanted to test the HD video on the new Canon in a real-world scenario and this seemed like a the perfect opportunity. so i started the video just before the next song and handed it off to a co-worker who was there to watch. it turned out to be a good choice, because the song they wound up playing was Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. (i have always liked that song for some reason, maybe because one of my favorite movies growing up was The Goonies.) anyway, i got this video of the performance in glorious 720p! the most amazing part is just how clear the audio sounds! i couldn't believe it! amazing! (the band was pretty good too, i suppose. :P )
***Seriously don't even watch this in standard def. Click the HD button!!***
and if you're curious, the video was taken with this little compact camera!
HOLY SHIT MATT THAT'S TINY! i know right?! AND IT DOES 720p HD VIDEO?! it sure does! I WANT IT!! me too pal... me too... sadly i work in retail and can't even afford the meager $280 it costs. :(
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[22 Apr 2009|12:21am] |
so i got my copy of Freakazoid Season 2 today! it's bittersweet though because that's all. i never have anymore Freakazoid to look forward to! :(
but on a brighter note, Dragonforce was in the store signing autographs today, so after my shift i rushed home and brought back my copy of Guitar Hero 3 and had them sign it! man, those guys are totally kick-ass cool! ^_^
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| Why do all my high-end electronics hate me?! |
[19 Apr 2009|09:50pm] |
so i finally broke down and decided to get rid of some of my old video games and DVDs i never play/watch anymore. so i gathered up the crap i could stand to get rid of (about 10 PS2 games, a standard xbox game, about 10 DVDs, and like 10 anime DVDs (mostly the shitty boring ones i got on the cheap, or single volumes that i bought the whole series of and didn't need anymore), and brought them over to Rock 30 Games. god i love that store! they buy/sell used DVDs and video games, and specialize in old/rare games. they have a HUGE collection of classic Nintendo/SNES, Sega, and N64 games! oh but that's just the beginning, they also sell frolf discs! and they're only about a block from my home, so i have to be careful to avoid them so as not to blow all my money there! anyway, i brought my dvds in and while the guy was getting everything together i was looking around. he totaled everything up and i was given the choice of about $65 cash or $111 store credit. i looked at the stack i had in my hand, and realized i had about $145 worth of DVDs and said , "well store credit obviously!" and begrudgingly decided to put back a few things including some new releases that i already have downloaded and can buy cheaper if i wait a bit, and a copy of Once Bitten starring a very young Jim Carey. in the end i paid 29 cents for:
- Batman the Animated Series: Vol 3 & 4
- The entire series (all three volumes) of Batman Beyond
- Fifth Element: Ultimate Collector's Edition (someone stole my copy a long time ago)
- Spirited Away (seen it plenty, but i don't know why i never actually bought it before)
- Ghost in the Shell: SAC Vol 6 (the only volume I was missing)
anyway, i went home excited to watch some Batman and you know how my xBox 360 is b0rk3d? well that also means the HDDVD attachment i use for my everyday DVD player is inoperable. I never thought about the possibility that my xBox might not work someday when i decided to go with that instead of buying a real DVD player when my old one crapped out on me (not it's fault, it was super-old and kinda on the cheap end). i mean it was nice at the time and up until a couple days ago, to get a good upconvert for cheap and it's convenient (usually).
so i was just going to use my old PS2 as my DVD player so i hooked it up and dug out the ol' PS2 DVD player remote and settled in to watch one of my new movies, and guess what? my PS2's DVD laser is burnt out! it won't read DVDs anymore (thank god it still reads games just fine!). i mean i can understand it finally going out i've had that almost since the PS2 was released! it was like a couple months after they came out that i got mine, and nobody in my household had a DVD player at the time so i used it as a DVD player for YEARS, so it's not a big surprise that the DVD laser would finally go out, but it was certainly sucky that it happened like 2 days after my xBox got the red ring. :(
also, the HDTV antenna i bought doesn't work, and i can't figure out why. i think i might just need to buy an amplifier for it, but i'll probably take it back for a new one if that doesn't work.
so no TV and no DVD player and a pile of new DVDs that I'm dying to watch. what am i supposed to do, watch them on my computer? eff that noize!! so even though i don't have much money to spend, i went to Best Buy and bought a new DVD player. w/ my discount the cheapest one was about $30, and it was kind of a shitty one, so i went with a Phillips upconvert for about $45 instead. i figured the upconvert capability and the reliability of the Phillips name was more than worth the extra $15! I still bought the 2 year Black Tie Protection Plan just in case though, as it was only like $8 extra. so now i got it all set up and it's working and i can once again watch my DVDs in glorious upconverted HD! and when i get my 360 back i'll just hook up that DVD player to the TV in the bedroom so i can watch movies in bed! although, on that little 20" tube TV it'll be like driving a sports car in first gear! :P
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| a red ring outbreak that ISN'T Impetigo?? |
[17 Apr 2009|10:33pm] |
ok so, my xbox got the red ring last night, and i mentioned it at work to a friend, and he said his got one the other day too! talking to ANOTHER friend at work, he said his roommate's got it a week ago! oh but it gets weirder! i have a buddy that works at GameStop and i was asking him what my options were and he mentioned that they had more people than usual asking about the RRoD lately, too!!
is there some sort of second mass red ring outbreak like in the summer of '07? have any of you heard about a lot of people recently getting them?
the funny thing is all my friends at work, they may have bought theirs from BestBuy where we work, but mine was ordered from Amazon (where they told me it was the new one with the better heat-sink, the lying bastards!). so it's not just one batch it seems.
X-posted to gamers.
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| New Release Roundup! |
[17 Apr 2009|12:18am] |
So there are a lot of movies that are either recently released or coming soon to DVD and i thought i'd give my thoughts on them. so without further ado, we bring you another...
Matt's New Release Roundup!!
 The Spirit - RENT - as far as comic book movies go this was sort of a disappointment. This was right up there with The Phantom, Dick Tracy, and The Shadow with movies that attempt to do a film noir style comic book character. far too over-the-top and ridiculous. it all comes off far too cheesy for my taste, and i'm a guy who LOVES him some cheese!! i mean they were all entertaining and i'm glad i have seen them (a couple times each, yes) but i'm not likely to buy them... unless i see them in the bargain bin, then i might pick em up.
 Bangkok Dangerous - RENT - Hey, what's the capital of Thailand? *punches you in the dick* BANGKOK!! one could say, that that's how watching this movie makes you feel, but that would be unfair. i mean, don't get me wrong, i don't think this movie was GREAT by any means, but i think it did alright for being a remake. i didn't have high hopes for it and it didn't really surprise me much, but it was at least a bit more entertaining than i had expected. it was entertaining, the action was good and the cinematography and direction were even pretty decent, it just didn't have that solid of a script. Nicholas Cage has been on thin ice with me ever since i paid $7 to go see Bringing Out the Dead. every movie since the mid-90's has had to involve at least one scene where he starts out normal and freaks out for a second, then back to normal. i think it's in his contract. at least this was better than Next... but not by enough.
 Sex Drive - PASS - Not another teen movie? exactly. it was um... ok i guess. i mean i probably wouldn't watch it again but it might be worth a watch if you can borrow it from a friend who unfortunately bought it. i think the only place this one succeeds is by not taking itself too seriously. if you've seen the unrated version you know exactly what i mean. I think the problem lies where ALL teen movies problems lie. They try too damn hard to be the next Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or The Breakfast Club. they have the humor, but it's all masturbation and fart jokes. i mean, don't get me wrong there are the tender moments like at the shoe tree, but they are few and far between and underplayed. oh the loser has a friend who's a successful player and along the way he falls in true love with an unlikely woman. oh the male doesn't sleep with the hottie, he professes his love to his female best friend. who didn't see that coming? they lack the realism that the good teen movies have. the only realism was probably the "dude humor". the "you slept with my woman and i'm gonna punch you in the face and then we'll be friends again" moments. oh also, special guest stars: FALL OUT BOY! ZOMG SQUEEE! that was the sound of a million scene girls wetting a million theater seats seeing patrick on the big screen. anyway the only thing that makes this movie NOT suck out loud is EVERY scene Seth Green is in. i mean, the other comedic moments are ok, but it's all the same played out bull-shit that EVERY teen movie has, but a street-wise sarcastic douchebag Amish guy played by Seth Green? i think he's the only thing that really saved this movie at all. ESPECIALLY his comment to FOB's Pete Wentz "Hey by the way i loved the pictures of your cock on the internet!" HAHAHAH! best line in the movie and it was while they were rolling the credits. what does that say about the rest of the movie?
 Choke - PASS - It really makes me sad that such a good Palahniuk (the dude who wrote Fight Club for you non-fans out there) book would be such a bad movie. it's slow and tedious, and doesn't really make you want to stick around. at least it keeps you guessing (if you didn't already know how it ended), but that's about it. they really underplay Victor's choking scam, and concentrate too much on the sex addict side of things. they play it off nonchalantly but i think it's done for the "sex sells" value more than anything. that's a BIG part of his character! He tells himself he's only doing it for the money and he's providing them a service making the victims of his scheme feel better about themselves, but subconsciously he does it to fulfill his own need to feel needed and be babied and have someone comfort him and tell him he's ok. to be held. and that's where the sex addiction came from in the first place. that and the feeling of apathy about the world, the piece of mind he gets afterward. i don't know, basically if you're a fan of the book, check it out, but if you're expecting another Fight Club, you will be disappointed.
 Bedtime Stories - RENT - this movie was super-cute and i really enjoyed it. it was a fun ride through a few different stories and it's always fun to see stories for kids that are metaphoric reflections of the real world. much of Skeeter's (Adam Sandler) life really falls into the stories he's telling, whether he's playing the part of a gladiator or a space-warrior, there is much of the movie's main plot mixed in. Sandler had a nice mix between his usual goofiness and actual jokes which was nice for a change. i think it was mostly because he had to stick to a script for Disney. either way, it's an interesting premise, he tells the kids a story and the parts they say come true. some cool cinematography too (particularly the raining gumballs scene)! if you have a child, or are one of those freaky people who collect EVERY Disney movie ever made, then i WOULD suggest buying it. but if you're a single, childless, 20-something like me, i'd just rent it. worth a watch for sure though! ^_^
 Monsters Vs. Aliens - PASS - This was a tough choice. i almost wanted to say rent, but i just can't. the previews made it look so good, but sadly, this was one of those situations where if you've seen the previews you've already seen all the best parts in the movie anyway. The characters were not even remotely well-developed, you just went oh i guess he's supposed to be "that guy". the funniest lines were probably not even from Seth Rogan as B.O.B. but from a minor character, Stephen Colbert as The President. If you have kids and they want to see it you could rent it and watch it with them without regretting the time you wasted on it, but i wouldn't specifically set aside time to go see it or rent it for yourself. it's just another one of those Dreamworks flicks that are filler between Madagascar and Shrek films, and it's CERTAINLY no Over the Hedge or Kung-Fu Panda!
 Quantum of Solace - BUY - If you're a fan of the Bond films at all, you should see this. by itself, it's not the best Bond film, in fact it's not even a marginally good one, but seeing as this one picks up right where Casino Royale left off, i consider the two to be one film. Casino Royale was too much drama and set-up and not enough action. Quantum of Solace is too much action not enough substance. looking at it from that perspective the two together equal easily the BEST Bond film of all time!!
 Yes Man - BUY - I know i already expressed my love for this film before but OMG seriously this movie is awesome! Jim Carey is FINALLY back in a comedic role, and it's as though he never left! the movie has a wonderful premise and is totally funny! also, did i mention it has Zooey Deschanel? ... ... ... ... i'm sorry was i drooling? what was i talking about? oh yeah Yes Man! That's right! anyway the only bad part of the movie is when you have to deal with the obligatory "guy loses girl and has to win her back" part. i mean, does this seriously have to happen in EVERY movie? they have to find the stupidest reason to break the characters up, when you KNOW they'll be getting back together just before the end of the movie? i mean did anyone doubt even for a second that he would win her back? i mean they broke up for the stupidest reason in the first place! "I can't trust you because you have to say yes to everything. never mind the fact that if it weren't for this same program you would have never come out of your shell and we would have never got together in the first place." WTF!?! anyway for that brief little headache the movie totally redeems itself with the funny. i also like how EVERYTHING ties back in together so neatly in this film. he learns to speak Korean and it helps him get an important thing done later in the movie. He learns guitar and he sings Third Eye Blind's "Jumper" to talk a dude out of killing himself (that scene was GREAT BTW). also, did i mention that Zooey Deschanel is in it? *droooooool*
Oh, Zooey.... ... ...
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| NOT what most men mean when they say "I had a dream about Paris Hilton" |
[13 Apr 2009|03:58am] |
I posted this as a comment in randompictures but i don't think i ever shared it with you guys. a while back i had easily the weirdest dream of my life! I know it's long but seriously, trust me when i say it's amazing...
I dreamed i was a reporter and had to do some stupid fluff piece interviewing Paris Hilton about her new book. begrudgingly i went to go do the interview and was shown in by her butler. "She's in the lab" he told me. "what is she trying to find new scent for her line of perfumes?" i chuckled. i walk into this big pink room filled with all kinds of scientific equipment, and there's Paris wearing a pink lab coat and standing at a table decanting some fluid from some test tube into some other test tube containing some other fluid. bewildered i asked what she was doing and she told me she was "isolating compound isotopes and combining them with organic hormones to create a fertilizer that will allow plants to be strong enough to grow even in inhospitable conditions without all the nasty side effects of normal growth hormones in an effort to end world hunger" (or something like that) i was very interested partly because it's cool stuff and partly because "WTF Paris Hilton is a fucking genius?!" she begged me not to put any of it in my interview. she told me that aside from enjoying the lack of pressure that comes along with her debutante image, there were "certain people who would "not take kindly to her work." it was only after i promised that everything i had seen was completely off the record, that she explained the process to me and we chatted for a while and i completely forgot i was there to do an interview for her book. while she was showing me what she was doing "could you hand me that?" turned into "can you take care of that for me?" and i somehow wound up her lab assistant. i began to come back every day to help her out, and we made a good team. we had fun, and chatted while doing work that would help a lot of people, so i really enjoyed the time spent with her.
unfortunately my absence after work was noticed by my friends, and my best friend (another reporter) asked me where i was going every night. i gave him some bullshit excuse, but he countered by telling me that he followed me the previous day and found out i had been going to Paris Hilton's place. like any good reporter he drilled me with the questions and kept turning my words around on me until he had me trapped. i finally told him the truth and though astonished, he promised not to tell anyone. unfortunately he was a lying bastard because the next day there was an article in the paper exposing the work Paris and I had been doing. i went by her place to apologize and see if i could still work with her and in the middle of my apology smoke grenades went off and her house came under attack from some sort of special forces unit. she grabbed my hand and we bolted through a secret door in her lab to an underground garage where we hopped in her car and busted through the gates and [somehow] evaded capture. apparently her work was based off some research she had done for the military a while back, combining growth hormones with a radioactive isotope to create super-soldiers. despite the scientists warnings the project leader decided to move ahead with human testing, but the soldiers became completely unstable and had terrible "roid-rage-like symptoms" and went berserk, killing or destroying anything in their way. she was the only researcher not killed in their rampage which continued until their rage became so intense that they suffered an aneurysm and died. she turned whistle-blower and the project was scrapped and the man responsible was locked away in a federal prison. however there were rumors that the military was allowing him to continue the research for them while in their custody, and wanted to keep her quiet. so she was placed in the witness protection program and they changed her face and gave her her new identity. the plan was to hide her in plain sight. who would guess that this slutty, ditsy, vapid celebrity would be the bookish, lazy-eyed scientist they were after?
anyway, here's where it kind of all blends into a cheesy action movie. without going into too much detail, we're on the run from the government with super-soldiers chasing us. i'm sure you can use your imagination to fill in all the rising action leading up to the big climactic battle in some government facility against the leader guy who had injected himself with the growth hormone to "assure his victory." the end of which comes when Paris gets her revenge by shooting the cables holding up his end of the metal walkway we were on above some huge vats filled with some sort of acid.
and like any action movie, the hero gets the girl and we wind up taking a trip to Europe to relax. the "movie" (aka my dream) ends with the two of us in a bed in a luxurious hotel room in France and a clever, James Bond style one-liner about being in Paris Hilton in the Paris Hilton.
easily the weirdest dream ever but goddamnit was it awesome! i don't really find her all that attractive, so it wasn't the end that made it awesome. but it was mostly like, the fact that it didn't even skip around and nothing too crazy and obscure like most dreams. everything followed the plotline of what could be a real action movie. not a real good one, but still.
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[12 Apr 2009|11:52am] |
SHIT! It's Zombie Jesus! Hide the fucking eggs!!!
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